So yesterday I had an AWFUL day at work. More awful than the past 7 months at my new job have been. I basically felt like garbage after a meeting with my boss and trainer. I am not doing well and basically I need to find a new job. I'm not fired, and I haven't quit, but one of those two things is in my near future. What's sad is that I tried my hardest and still failed. The job wasn't for me, but I unsuccessfully tried to make it work.
Anyway, of course I am thinking a bit about how this affects my baby dreams. Will I be able to stay employed at the hospital and keep the same insurance? Will I have to be unemployed for awhile? Will I have to go back to a part-time paycheck? Will we be able to afford to have a 3rd child? Maybe life is trying to tell me I shouldn't move forward...
Then again, the other part of me (the part that wants a baby!) is thinking, maybe this is meant to be. Maybe I am supposed to spend some time at home with my kids, even if we cannot afford to eat. Maybe I am supposed to get a part-time job so that when pregnancy and baby #3 comes I won't be gone from home so much. Maybe this is a good thing??
I'm not canceling my appointment with my RE unless I absolutely have to...oh, and I suppose I should tell Ben about it before the day comes...
So sorry to hear about the rough day, and tough decisions ahead. Good luck with all the decisions. And if it comes down to it, Ramen Noodles were great in college--I bet they are still tasty in your 30s!
ReplyDeleteYikes, sorry to hear about the hard day at work. Keep your chin up, you are a strong woman with LOTS of determination.
ReplyDeleteIn order to succeed you must fail, so that you know what not to do the next time.
Anthony J. D'Angelo
Spending more time at home would give you time to garden, so you would have some of your food needs covered. :) (I don't know if you want to do vegetables again...but it's a thought!) It would also mean less daycare costs. I'll keep looking for reasons for you if you'd like. :)
Keep the faith, if you want it, you can make it happen. :)
You've still got a good 30+ days before the day comes, plenty of time to tell Ben. :)