gender wishes

I want another girl. I could lie and say that gender is unimportant, but I would still secretly hope for a girl. I want Hadley to have a sister.

My sister is mentally challenged, and so in some ways I feel like I don't have a sister with whom I can share life experiences. Not that she isn't a great sister in other ways, but she will probably never marry, and she will never have children because of a chromosomal abnormality. Her life is so fundamentally different from mine that we cannot have a "normal" sister relationship.

I want that for my daughter. She needs it because of her strong personality and her (so far) self-centered attitude. I think it would do her good to have a sister to teach and to share some of the spotlight. Her brother does that somewhat, but I think she knows she is extra special and different than him because she is a girl.

I want for her what I've missed. Someone to talk to about periods and dating and college life and marriage and sex and pregnancy and motherhood and all of those things that only sisters can understand. Friends can do some of that, but I've seen so many friends come and go in my life that I understand that only a sister will always be there for you.

I will be getting 2 sister-in-laws this year, and one next year. Maybe out of the 3 I will find that sister relationship that I've always wanted. Someone to be my "person" once my Mom is gone (hopefully not for another 30-40 years!).

If I have another boy, that would be wonderful. Quinn would get to have a brother, and I'm sure he would enjoy that. Boys who grow up without brothers probably have some of the same feelings I have had. In a perfect world, I would have twins - a boy and a girl so that each child would have a brother and a sister. As if that would ACTUALLY happen! HA!